Hell froze over as a new issue of All-Star Batman & Robin hit the stands this week. You may not remember the last time this happened, as the printing press had just been invented and Gutenberg was going on about how Bibles were both literature AND furniture. This issue confirms my theory that Frank Miller just doesn’t want to do superheroes anymore. He hates them! Either that, or this is his version of the McRib; remember that? McDonald’s public experiment to see if consumers would eat crap on a bun? Anyway, to go into the “plot” would be a disservice. It’s basically Miller screaming “I frickin’ HATE SUPERHEROES!!! I hate every damn thing about their stupid corporate-owned spandex-wearing homoerotic stereotypes!! I mean, I poured my heart into Sin City and 300, and everyone says the same thing —- ‘Dude, Dark Knight was awesome; when are you gonna do Batman again?’ AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!! Fine! You’ll buy any Bat-book by Frank Miller, well here’s Dark Knight 2!! It’s terrible, but it’s what you’ve begged me for! Leave me alone! What? You want MORE?!? Christ, you must be the idiots who ate the McRib! Okay, here —– All-Star Batman & Robin!! It’s not so much a comic as my thinly-veiled contempt for you bastards with too much time & money who never bought an indie comic in your lives!! I hope you choke on it!!! Where’s my… God no, this bottle’s empty too…”(breaks down into pathetic sobbing, stopping only to dab his eyes with his fat DC paycheck).
Oh, and over at Marvel? Apparently the Devil wants to break up Spider-Man’s marriage. No, really.
