I’ve been Chucked

(and if you’ve ever been chucked, you know how painful it can be)
-Also, What if John Wu had directed The Bionic Woman Pilot
-A Rachael Ray Update

On my Thursday Sept 6 post, I was a schmuck. In a taste test between Good Luck Chuck, the absolute BOMB of a movie and Chuck, the television series that anchors Monday night for NBC, I made a horrendous choice in hoping that the FABULOUS BODY of Jessica Alba would be able to save yet another Poseidon-esque Dane Cook vehicle. Who the hell ever though Dane Cook was funny, or likeable, or engaging, or had any talent whatsoever? Well, evidently not even the smile of an angel could make this donkey fly and it was in and out of theatres so fast, the popcorn faux butter/sludge barely had time to congeal. On the other hand, Chuck was an wonderful treat, It delivered on every level, Funny sexy, smart, sexy, original, sexy and oh did I mention sexy? Yvonne Strzechowski , as Sarah is smolderingly hot and equally deadly. Adam Baldwin (Jayne from Firefly) is back as the hard ass NSA agent who would just as soon kill ya as use ya. But, the stand out is Zack Levi, compunerd with all the NSA Files uploaded into his brain. Yes, it is still a handshake away from Johnny Mnemonic, BUT, and this is big, this is actually good! Seriously! Furthermore as a lead in for Heroes, it really works well.Bionic Bunny was a mess from the moment it began. Bland, predictable, trying desperately to do everything at once and succeeding at nothing. Acting was just bland. Michelle Ryan jumpstarting the role of Jamie Sommers was beautiful wallpaper. The slightest belief that she was in love with Will Anthros(get the pun?) played by Chris Bowers, or gave a tinkers damn about her snotty, spoiled little sister Becca never happened. What has been referred to as “Stunt Casting” using Katie Sackoff from Battlestar Galactica for the first few episodes and Isaiah Washington (from the Unfortunate Mouth Openings and Letting My Prejudices Become Public Party, or, Hi, My Name is Mel Gibson)) hasn’t worked, and quickly, here’s why. Sackoff plays a rogue symbiant. And the 3 fight scenes between #1 and #2 are pallid, have no excitement……..and if 2 beautiful woman fighting in the raid is not riveting, well then, you get the idea. Washington has yet to appear. I am assuming the hope is people will watch him because they share his hated and bias. That’s not a good way to build an audience.. Lousy cast, bland writing, crappy special effects and a complete inability of the viewers to care about the people. Sounds like a winner to me. A word of advice to Katie, please keep this off your resume. Note to the networks. Stop trying to restart old series.Watch out for Knight Rider, no seriously. the idiots are resurecting it for the third time.Rachel, it’s been over a week and ….sigh…..I will do anything, just call. I watched you cook the other afternoon and god, you are as beautiful as ever. Let me wash your roasting pan.Till the next full moon.

Dome, kissing reality goodbye

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